Banish pre-party jitters about attire with our quick reference to dress codes for social events.

Black Tie

A Black Tie invitation calls for formal attire. Men wear tuxedos, women wear cocktail, long dresses or dressy evening separates.

Formal usually means the same as Black Tie, but in some trendier cities like New York or Los Angeles, it could mean a black shirt, no tie with a tux. Women wear cocktail, long dresses or dressy evening separates.

More about formal dresses:

White Tie

A White Tie or Ultra-formal invitation requires men wear full dress, with white tie, vest, shirt. Women wear long gowns.

Black Tie Optional

A Black Tie Optional or Black Tie Invited gives you the option of wearing a tuxedo or formal dress, but it should clue you into the formality of the event, meaning a dark suit and tie would be your other option. Women wear cocktail, long dresses or dressy evening separates.

Creative Black Tie

Creative Black Tie leaves room for trendy interpretations of formal wear. He can go more modern with a tux -- maybe a black shirt, no tie. She wears long or short dresses or evening separates.

Sometimes, themed parties call for dress codes like Texas Black Tie or other variations of Creative Black Tie. In that situation, you can have more fun with it, choosing a dressy look with a theme (for him, it could be a tux with boots and for her it could be a long dress paired with Southwestern style silver belt and jewelry).

Semi-Formal

Semi-Formal or After Five means that tuxes are not required, nor are long dresses. An evening wedding (after 6 PM) would still dictate dark suits for him, and a cocktail dress for her. Daytime semi-formal events mean a suit for him and an appropriate short dress or dressy suit for her.

Business Formal is the same as Semi-Formal for him, but for women it suggests that women opt for more tailored dressy suits and dresses (nothing too slinky or sexy).

Cocktail Attire

Cocktail Attire means short, elegant dresses for her and dark suits for him.

Informal

Informal is often interpreted as the same as Casual but it actually calls for the same dress as Semi-Formal -- dark suits for him, short dresses for her -- especially when associated with a wedding or special event.

Festive Attire

Festive Attire is usually seen around the holidays, with the mood of the party being Informal or Semi-Formal. For her, it means to choose looks with a bit of sparkle or holiday bent (i.e. a beaded sweater with black pants, a red silk blouse with a black skirt).

Casual

Dressy Casual calls for dressed-up versions of casual looks. For him, it could be trousers and a sportcoat, for her a dressy pants look. Jeans, shorts, T-shirts and other casual looks are not appropriate for Dressy Casual.

Casual generally means anything goes.

Wedding Guest Style for Her

• Informal Daytime: Short dress or suit (business attire OK for morning weddings)

• Informal Evening: Cocktail dress

• Semi-Formal Daytime: Short dress or suit

• Semi-formal Evening: Cocktail dress

• Formal Daytime: Short dress or suit. Hats and gloves optional.

• Formal Evening or Black-Tie: Long or dressy short cocktail (beading, glam accessories, wrap)

• Ultra-formal or White Tie: Long gown, extra glitz (furs, diamonds, etc.)

Do's and Don'ts for Her

• Don't wear white because it competes with the bride. There are plenty of other colors available.

• Don't wear black or sequins during the daytime.

• Don't worry about wearing the same colors as the bridesmaids or mothers. You can't possibly coordinate with everyone in the wedding party.

• Do wear something feminine and appropriate, out of respect for your hosts. Clubwear, overtly sexy clothing (strapless, see-through, etc) doesn't belong at a wedding. If you have to ask if it's appropriate, it probably isn't.

• Don't wear opera-length gloves (to top of arm) with anything but sleeveless or strapless gowns.

• Do take off gloves to eat or drink.

• Do use good judgment if the invitation doesn't specify the formality of the event. A pastel suit or soft floral dress for daytime or a little black dress for evening (after 6 p.m.) will take you almost anywhere.

Wedding Style for Him

• Informal Daytime: Dress shirt and pants, preferably a sports jacket.

• Informal Evening: Suit

• Semi-Formal Daytime: Suit

• Semi-Formal Evening: Dark suit

• Formal Daytime: Dark suit and tie

• Formal Evening: Tuxedo (if invitation states "black tie") or dark suits if women wear short dresses.

• Ultra-formal Evening or White Tie: White tie, vest and shirt.

Do's and Don'ts for Him

• Don't try to get cute with a tuxedo. A black tux with white shirt and black bow tie is the best way to go. If "Creative Black Tie" or "Texas Formal" or some sort of other vague formal description is used, then going with a tux and black shirt, no tie, might be acceptable. Also, trendier cities like Los Angeles and New York might be more accepting of breaking with tradition.

• Do wear a dark suit, with a tie if the wedding is after 6 PM, and doesn't say "Black Tie."

• Don't wear a tuxedo during the day time, regardless of the formality of the event.

• Do use good judgment if the invitation doesn't specify the formality of the event. A dark suit and conservative tie will take you just about anywhere.

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Wedding Day Check List

6 - 12 months before the big day

Decide on a date
Make an appointment with Clergyman / Officiant Determine a budget.
Compose a guest list.
Set time, location of Ceremony, Rehearsal & Reception Venue.
Choose Professional Photographer / Videographer / DJ
Shop for wedding gown: Several fittings will be required.
Obtain Floral & Music estimates; book services if possible.
Register with gift registry.
Select bride maids.
Pick a honeymoon destination: (renew passports & inoculations if required.)
Begin selection of a Caterer.
Set a date to order dresses for bridesmaids.

5 months before the big day

Finalize guest lists.
Order invitations & announcements.
Order personal stationary & thank you notes.
Plan reception.
Choose florist.
Men choose attire.
Make honeymoon plans.
Choose caterer.
Confirm delivery of bridal gown.
Make appointment for bridal portrait.
Order wedding cake and or grooms cake.
Arrange transportation for all members of bridal party to & from ceremony & reception locations.
Go over details of reception with caterer / hotel manager.
If you are renting any equipment, reserve it now. (tent, chairs, arch, floral, pillars etc.)

2 months before the big day

Inform clergyman of all the details of your ceremony.
Keep a gift diary - send thank you notes as gifts arrive.
Fine tune guest list.
Plan rehearsal dinner.
Select attendants' gifts, grooms gift.
Check all services.
Make moving arrangements.
Final gown fitting.
Bridal portrait setting.

1 month before the big day

Choose wedding bands.
Mail invitations.
Make room reservations for out of town guests.
Check wedding party apparel.
Confirm music arrangements & check selections.
Make reservations for bridesmaids' luncheon.
Discuss rehearsal dinner with hosts.
Attend showers.
Marriage license.

2 weeks before the big day

Plan your wedding day hair style. (bring headpiece & veil).
Schedule hair appointment for day of wedding.
Final check on bridal party clothing.
Notify newspapers.
Arrange for name & address change. (Name Change Kit) www.WeddingManor.com/NameChange
Check with caterer / reception venue with any last minute changes.

1 week before the big day

Remind rehearsal dinner guests of time / location.
Start honeymoon packing.
Wrap groom's & attendants' gifts.
Check wedding announcements, stamped & ready to mail day after wedding.
(Personalize your postage with custom stamps!) www.WeddingManor.com/stamps
Bridesmaids' luncheon.
Schedule rehearsal for 1 - 2 days prior to wedding.
Remind wedding party of exact time & place.
Go over final details of ceremony & reception with all parties involved.

1 day before the big day

RELAX !
Have manicure & pedicure done.
Attend wedding rehearsal & dinner.
Give ushers guest list.

Wedding Day

Eat!
Hair and make-up.
Check wedding dress. (pressing / steaming)
Appoint family member to check ceremony & reception for left behind items.
Change of clothes. (if leaving for honeymoon).
Breath ! Enjoy your day.

Helpful hint:
Make an emergency kit: Include. . .
Make-up, extra panty hose, bobby pins, safety pins, clear nail polish, comb, hair spray, hanky or tissues,
needle & thread (white), aspirins, saltine crackers, band aid, toothpaste & brush, white chalk, dental floss,
breath mints. Sounds funny, but stranger things have happened....... Congratulations!

10 things you need to know when hiring a caterer

1. Sample the food before the event
You would be surprised how many people call up a caterer
and book an event without tasting the food. This is critical.
What happens if the food is not what you expect? You leave
yourself open to looking bad in front of all your guests and their
family. Believe it or not more people will remember the “cold,
tasteless food”, rather than the true meaning of this special
event, a day of camaraderie and friendship.

2. Have a budget and goal in mind
You know the importance of setting goals, as they are a focal
point to rally your family around. The vision of obtaining goals
is what keeps everyone motivated and on course. A catered
event is no different.
You need a vision of the end result. Do you picture a black
tie formal event, or would you prefer guests casually enjoying a
Backyard Party with all the fun?
The second part of the equation is your budget. Knowing in
advance how much money you have to spend will save you time
when exploring options. There is nothing more frustrating than
having a specific meal in mind without the budget to see it
through. Many caterers take advantage of disorganized party
hosts by avoiding the subject of price. Let the caterer know how
many people will attend, and then give them an absolute
maximum budget per person. A good range is $5 to $15 per
person (depending on the quality of food served).
IMPORTANT: Remember your deposit is your money. Get
it back! There have been court cases that the judge awarded the
person food compensation for the amount of the deposit!

3. How to avoid extra charges
Make sure the caterer understands that this budget should
include EVERYTHING!! No hidden delivery charges,
handling charges, silverware, service, etc. Many caterers are
very good at presenting a low budget, and then padding the bill
with lots of extras. Remember, the closer it gets to your party,
the more leverage your caterer will have, as you’ll be reluctant
to start negotiations with someone else. Start shopping for your
caterer early and discuss price openly at the first meeting.
While you may be able to argue with the caterer’s bill after
your party, it is much easier to avoid trouble by agreeing on a
maximum price in advance. Write “Quote inclusive of all
charges” on the contract and make the caterer initial it.

4. Do you understand how to tip?
Some caterers will hide a gratuity in the bill and then stand
by silently as you tip them on top of it. Don’t be afraid to ask if
the price includes a tip, and tip only as much as you think the
driver and/or server deserves. Did you know that TIPS stands
for To Insure Preferred Service?

5. Don’t base your decision on price only
The old saying, “You get what you pay for” rings truer today
than ever. Because of competition, one caterer cannot afford to
overprice service. Most caterers should be within 5% - 10% of
each other for similar menus and levels of service.
Important: you’ll find that someone offering a rock bottom
price is probably cutting corners somewhere for YOUR party.
So compare apples to apples. Is cleanup included in the price
– or are they sticking you with the cleanup? Is the food cooked
fresh or re-heated? What about portion size? What is the
quality of the service ware and utensils? Are desserts and
beverages included in the price? What is the gratuity or service
charge?
BEEF for example has two grades: select and choice, a better
cut. If your caterer is charging less than others, you can bet they
are using the lower grade.
The list goes on and on. You see that all caterers are not
created equally. You owe it to yourself to make sure you know
what you are paying for. This will help you avoid any
unpleasant surprises.

6. Can your caterer supply references?
Ask your potential caterer to supply you with proof that
they’ve catered events successfully in the past. If they are
unwilling to give you references or testimonials, keep shopping.
Many caterers are just restaurants that deliver, but running a
restaurant and operating a successful catering operation require
different sets of skills. Some caterers improve over time; just
don’t let them use your party as practice

7. What are my menu choices and options?
The price of the same car with different options can vary as
much as $5000. Caterings are no different...options can add to
the price tag. The opposite can also ring true. If you are willing
to forego certain items or extras, you might be able to negotiate
a lower price. Make sure you ask about the “base model”
catering if you are on a tight budget. Most caterers will work
with you.
If you have a larger budget be sure to ask about the extras.
You might have enough to add the extra entrees, hors deurves,
and desserts.

8. Find out what services are included
As mentioned earlier, you get what you pay for; this includes
service. Find out exactly what the caterer does as part of his
service.
Will they stay till the end and clean the entire area or just
through the meal? Who is responsible for the trash? Does the
caterer plan on setting up and serving the meal, or will the guest
serve himself or herself? You need to be aware of what you are
getting for your money. This allows you to receive the service
you expect and prevents any unexpected surprises for you
before, during or after your event.

9. Don’t think the caterer won’t run out of food
As thorough as you may be in taking reservations and
estimating the number of guests, there will always be some
people who show up unexpectedly. Usually, a caterer will
require you to pay for the exact number of guest you guarantee.
If extra guests join in, you are more than likely going to run out
of food. Ask your caterer when the last minute is that you can
add guests. Most caterers will require 1 week. Caterers who
specialize in last minute parties often only need a few hours
notice!
Running out of food is the #1 biggest disasters for an event.
There are 3 steps to be sure you will not run out of food
1) Always order for 5 extra guests
2) Ask about portion sizes
3) Use a specialist for your event. Find a caterer who has
experience in that field!

10. Does your caterer have a guarantee?
Guarantees are part of doing business for most industries.
This protects you, from receiving less than you expect.
Look for a caterer that guarantees their product. For
example, if the caterer runs out of food or doesn’t provide the
services that you contracted for, you don’t pay. Make sure you
go into your event knowing you are covered. Don’t place the
risks on your shoulder. You’re giving up valuable dollars; you
have every right to expect a guarantee for your important event.

Bonus tip 1. Is there a guaranteed price?
Not guaranteeing a price is a tactic used by many caterers
especially if you are booking a party one or more years in
advance. If you are making a commitment to use a caterer’s
service, negotiate your pricing so it remains the same as the day
you booked the event.

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?By Planning My Own Wedding, I Discovered Secrets That Saved Me Over $10,000... Secrets Wedding Planners and Industry Insiders Would Rather You Didn't Know?

        ?Stephi Stewart, Author of ?Fire Your Wedding Planner?

• Secret techniques that wedding planners and industry insiders don't want you to know... secrets that can save you thousands of dollars on an average wedding.
  
  
• How to save up to 96% off the cost of your dress and then "write off the rest".
  
  
• The Difference between a "Photographer" and a "Wedding Photographer". HINT: It's not the photo quality...it's the PRICE.
  
  
• As a bride, you have the words "Charge Me Extra" written all over you... I'll show you how to turn the tables and use your buying power to get MORE for your money instead of LESS.
  
  
• How to save 50% or more by buying your own alcohol and then returning what you don't use for a full refund!
  
  
• How to get airline discounts for your out of town guests and earn a free "Wedding Upgrade" for your honeymoon.
  
  
• And much, much more...
  
  

Most Brides Pay Far More
Than They Should

• Dress - I saved 96% off the marked price ($1,893 savings)
• Photographer - 79% off any other quote ($2,300 savings)
• Alcohol - 63% off my caterer's quote ($1,265 savings)
• Flowers - More than 50% off the lowest florist's quote!